Ooh, The Plot Thickens...

The Earl and Coleen Wilbur, The Earl of Flight Orville, The 2nd Earl of Flight

Oh but the British tabloids are having a field day with this little romance. The Earl is being touted as the biggest philanderer known to man and has been labeled as, "Slimy Spencer", or by the more affectionate title, "The Love Rat". It would seem that whilst The Earl was visiting us corn fed cow punchers in the Midwest, his wife was about to give birth to a child. Make that his second wife. The one whom he met whilst still married to his first one. You know, the one the tabloids say he cheated on numerous times? Uh huh. That one. Old what's her name.

Now, our Coleen flew to England to interview The Earl a year ago just prior to the opening of the Diana exhibit at our art museum. Oh, and just prior to the Earl's wife giving birth to their child. And, just prior to the subsequent divorce of the Earl and the new mum. Are you following any of this?

Wasn't this all a story line on "Days of Our Lives" a few years back?

Of course the British tabloids have gotten a few things wrong. Shocking I know but true. They listed our Coleen as "a high level television executive in Los Angeles". I guess that saying she was the anchor of a news program in Dayton, Ohio was just too, too provincial. Boring even. Dayton? Where is that? What? In the middle of a goat pasture?

I am sure that the US tabloids will pick up the story eventually. For now though, they are much too worried about Britney's lack of underwear, Anna Nicole's fatherless babe and some female alien skeletons being discovered in George Clooney's back yard.

Now, according to WDTN's general manager, Ms. Sullivan actually has about 6 more days of work left on her contract but doubts that she will be back. Back to fill that seat with her sassy little bum. Okay, so that last sentence was in my brother's words NOT the general manager's but you get the idea.

Our paper has had a lot of fun with this story. Why, just today they published an article where one columnist opined about how she, and many other area women who met The Earl, were not considered *dump the old lady and date the new chick* material. They are however, considering beginning a support group for women The Earl dissed.

There was also a tidbit about how one British columnist stated that seeing the world through the eyes of The Earl must have seemed terribly attractive to a girl from "someplace called Dayton".

Does anyone remember that it was here that the Peace Agreement on Bosnia-Herzegovina was signed? The one initialized at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Dayton, Ohio on November 21, 1995 and signed in Paris on December 14, 1995. The agreement is known as the Dayton Peace Accords. Uh huh. That Dayton. Those poor VIPS were forced to bed down with the pigs and chickens I hear. Humiliating.

Dayton's own invented...let's see now...take a deep breath...

Airplane Ejection Seats Artificial Hearts Artificial Kidneys Automobile Air Bags Bionic Organs Carbon Less Copy Paper Chrome Plating Computerized Aircraft Loading System Double Glass Windows Electric Cash Registers Filter Cigarettes Fixed-Focus Headlights Frost-proof freezers Fuzzbuster & Radar Detectors Glass Photographic Negatives Ice Cream Cones Instant Blood-Glucose Level Testing

Are you still with me?

Laser Weapons Liberty Engines Night Serial Photography Nuclear Powered Pacemakers Quick Process Malleable Iron and Room Air Conditioners... Whew! Okay...now, another deep breath... Isolated Home and Farm Electric Lighting Systems

Stepladders Microfiche Collapsible Portable Cribs Human Heart-Lung Machines Motorized Wheelchairs Pull Tab and Pop Top Beverage Cans Ice Cube Trays with Ejector Mechanism Movie Projectors, Movie Cameras, Movie Film and Movie Theatres Continuous Ink Jet Printers Automobile Starters

Price Tag Affixing Machines Lighted Scoreboards

Ethyl-Leaded Gasoline Official Building Mail Chutes Electrically Stimulated Ambulatory Motion Cash Registers Gas Masks Portable Breathing Resuscitators Computing Scale for Butchers and Grocers AND Parachutes...oh, and that little thing

called THE AIRPLANE. Thank you Orville and Wilbur, the Earls of Flight.

And, we culturally deprived folks round these parts also call these people our own....

Erma Bombeck ~ Writer

Paul Lawrence Dunbar ~ Poet

Allison Janney ~ Actor

John Jakes ~ Writer

Dorian Harewood ~ Actor

Milt Caniff ~ Cartoonist

Nancy Cartwright ~ Actor

Norman Vincent Peale ~ Evangelist

The Ohio Players ~ Musicians

Cathy Guiseweit ~ Cartoonist

Mike Peters ~ Cartoonist

Phil Donahue ~ Television Host

Rob Lowe ~ Actor

Chad Lowe ~ Actor

Kim Deal and The Breeders ~ Musicians

Joe Eszterhas ~ Writer

Martin Sheen ~ Actor

John Lithgow ~ Actor

Ming Tsai ~ Chef/Television Host

Jonathan Winters ~ Actor

Richard Crenna ~ Actor

Rick Derringer ~ Musician

Gordon Jump ~ Actor

Gary Sandy ~ Actor

Don Novello ~ Actor....

and from the athletic world...

Nick Mangold

AJ Hawk

Mike Schmidt

Edwin C. Moses

Mike Nugent

Roger Clemens

Dan Wilkinson

and

Kirk Herbstreit

I am probably forgetting something or someone but I am sleep deprived remember?

Yeah, we Daytonians are a shabby lot. Terribly unsophisticated it would seem. Unworldly. Snot nosed and grimy faced. Naive. A simple folk.

Okay, I need to add another log to the fire or my steam powered computer will falter.

And the chickens need milkin', the cows are alayin' and the

outhouse needs, well, more paper. I think I will dig up some of those tabloids. They must be good for something. Right?

Thank you all for being so sweet and for continuing

to keep good thoughts for us! I am much better today...or

trying to be! I am back to being feisty so

that is a good sign. Isn't it?

Have a great day all!

Hugs,

Suzie Q