It's me my darlings...your dear friend Surly Q. I am positively tickled to *death* that you are here! Do not mind the way I appear. It is simply another of my fiery hot flashes! Bwahahahahahahahahaha!
It's Halloween Day and all the ghoulies at Rabbit Run Manor are so glad you have decided to join us...you needn't have put up such a struggle my darlings. We have been sprucing up the old cages...er...homeplace just for you!Do come in! Please do not fear. We hardly ever bite...hard.
The whole gang here at Rabbit Run Manor would love to chain...um...welcome you dearies to our creep...er...HAPPY home. Snack anyone? Spiders? Why yes! They just add that extra hint of crunch to the candy corn....it is my ever so deadly secret recipe. Feeling a little parched? May I offer you some pois...um...punch? I made it myself. Please have a seat....never mind the bits of bone here and there....just a long ago guest who did not find my stories humorous.... Bwahahahahahahaha.... We could watch some movies later dearest...I don't know about you but I do so love a good comedy! I have always found this film positively hysterical....bwahahahahahahaha....no? Well, how about a story? Ah, I see you have chosen the best seat in the house. Comfy? Anything I can get you? Saw? Hatchet? Shovel? Fine...now. Who is up for the scariest Halloween story ever? You? You? YOU??? Ah, good....I knew you would be. Igor darling? Cue the appropriate music... It was a dark and stormy Wednesday afternoon...almost 3 long years ago. The heroine of our story, one Susie Q, was home alone with not one, not two but THREE children!!! Calm yourselves dear ones. We have yet to reach the truly scary part! Yes, Susie Q was all alone with 3 children. A 6 month old, a 1 year old and a 6 year old, all suffering from the dreaded runny nosed, snotty clogged head cold!!!! *Cue the taped screams* Our heroine had been unable to find the time to shower that morning and her unwashed, uncombed hair looked like a flea infested nest for baby field mice. Without the mice. She was attired in a lovely ensemble of torn sweatpants, a formula stained T shirt and holey purple socks. Yes dearies! PURPLE socks!!!! Please do try to control yourselves... The house was awash in toys, various and asundry shoes, blankets and vaporizers. Bits of graham cracker, half empty bottles, used tissues and yes, the most vile and fearsome element of all...the recently soiled diaper!!!! Would someone call 911? This poor dear seems to have fainted. May I go on? Then it came...almost silently at first then becoming more insistent. A knock at the door...once, twice, 7 times but who's counting? The dog hissed, the cat snarled. Our brave heroine crept down the long hallway...with the neighbor's 6 month old on her hip, her 1 year old nephew clinging to her leg and her newly adopted 6 year old daughter whining from the sofa. Susie Q slowly pushed back the curtains and there it was...right on her very own front porch...2 days early...THE SOCIAL WORKER!!!! Yes, yes, I can stop now while you go to the restroom to clean yourselves up...done? Now, where was I? Oh yes... Here to do his final post adoption home study... There was no time to escape, no safe place to hide...the baby wailed, the 1 year old screamed, the 6 year old covered her head with the blanket. He entered the room, poor Susie Q paled...and then he did the oddest thing. He began to laugh. He snickered, then chortled, then guffawed. Wiping his tears away he told our brave Susie Q that if she could handle this, she could handle anything. Even a runny nosed 6 year old covered with a blanket. And do it in purple socks. Thus ends my Halloween tale of fright. And just in case I forgot earlier my darlings... HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!! Now, let us adjourn to the dining room where we will feast on the delights that Igor has been digging up...er...scaring up...er...creating just for you!