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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Life Lesson Learned From Movies

Most of you know how much I love movies. I had no idea that while viewing a film I was actually learning so many lessons about life! Here are some things we have learned from the movies!

1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not.

2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.

5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts; your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

8. Honest and hardworking policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

10. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman, but only to the waist level on the man lying beside her.

11. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

12. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, provided there is someone in the control tower.

13. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

14. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

15. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.

16. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

17. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

18. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

19. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noise in their most revealing underwear.

20. Word processors never display a cursor on the screen but will always say: "Enter password now."

21. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

22. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

23. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

24. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.

25. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is the total opposite.

26. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.


Anonymous said...

This is absolutely hilarious. I posted a link back to you at my blog!! Funny stuff.

TK Angels said...

This is really a neat post. Ha!!
Love it.

Take care,

Sheila said...

You have the most entertaining posts...LOL
I am laughing my head off at this. They are all so obvious, but until you pointed them out, they went right past me...Doh..!

PAT said...

I laughed outloud, Sue! Loved it all!

Back Porch Musings

The French Nest said...

I always love visiting your blog because I am sure to laugh out loud while reading your posts. Your list is so true...I especially love #2!!

Andi said...

I always love the "evil twin" plot!!! Great post all of yours are!

Gretchen said...

Gosh, I had to read very carefully for a minute because I thought you were serious! LOL :)

PEA said...

ROFL..oh so true!! This was so funny to read and I could picture it all happening in the movies exactly like that! Everytime I see someone get beaten senseless and yet still be standing, I always think, I would have been dead after the first punch! lol Loved this, thank you:-) xoxo

"Early Bird" said...

And I might add...cleavage is perfectly fine in the board room...on a Soap Opra that is...teehee!
Loved reading this!

RoseMary said...

My, we have learned a lot from movies, LOL! I really need to get some of that lipstick. Thanks for such a fun post.

Pamela said...

I need to watch more movies... get better educated

(we often pick out that ridiculous stuff when we watch movies, too)

Sugar Bear said...

YOu are soooo funny! I am reading this in work and cracking up - everyone walking by my office must think I am insane! They are all so true too - esp. the NYC apartment and the foreigners speaking English to each other!

Dawn Bibbs said...

You are HILARIOUS!!! I even had to read these to the hubby and he loved it. He says that the 3 of us (me, you and him) must all come from the same mold. He and I just can't watch movies with our friends...because we point out stuff like what's in your list ALL THE TIME!!! And with him being a computer nerd...the computer stuff really sets him off LOL.

Good job!

Anonymous said...

Now this is truly funny. I am giggling while writing this.
What a brain. You must have a lot of fun around your home. How do you come up with this? Really, this is so funny.


Hope said...

This is tooooo funny!! Just a few nights ago I was watching a movie and made a comment like your number 17. The big, bad star had just taken a horrible beating but won the fight in the end of course. Then he went to his girlfriend's home and she was dabbing ever so gently at a cut on his face and he was in agony!!
Thanks for the laugh!

Terri said...

I had never considered these things before! But you MUST be right...Hollywood would never decieve us, would they????
Enjoyed reading your blog!
God bless.