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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Just this....

...as I haven't a lot of time today but did want to let you know about my big news! Yes, it is true. I am a bazillionaire. True, so true. Why, soon, oh so soon, I will have currency flowing into my bank account in many different variations. The riches will be in the form of Deutsche Mark, Dinar, Dirham, Drachma, Dollar, Euro, Franc, Guilder, Koruna, Kip, Rupee, Shekel, Som, Tala, Yen, Won, Krona, Lira, Peso, Pound and Punt. I must be the luckiest person on this Earth! Almost daily I receive email from all over the world. It seems that my web account and/or my name itself, has been chosen dozens of times, nay, hundreds of times, to be the recipient of vast fortunes. Some will be the loot I won in sweepstakes and lotteries from as far away as Vietnam! Yes! And I have no recollection of entering! Isn't that amazing? Some monies will come from old, long forgotten bank accounts, some will arrive ahead of their owners as they make their way into the US. I will then be awarded half the monies for my assistance. Even more will be awarded to me as I am the only living relative of long dead people who I never knew or heard about. Hmmm...I wonder about that one since I do have a living Mom and a brother and wouldn't THEY too be relatives of those...oh well. Let them be awarded their OWN riches. Hmpf. This money is mine, all mine! Oh yes, I am wallowing in money. Dough. Moolah. Bread. Boodle. Smackers. Coppers. Bucks. Greenbacks. Maggies. Clams, Scratch and Jack. And all I have to do is send these wonderfully generous folks my bank account numbers, my telephone numbers, address, full name, credit card numbers, second cousin's (twice removed, sordid tale that I shan't speak about) middle name and the combination of my high school gym locker. That one was the toughie. Bad memory and all. And these people are trustworthy. After all, they use really BIG words and called me *Madam*, said please and thank you and had *Esquire* at the end of their names! Whoa! Now that is impressive! Heck, I don't have anything at the end of my name except a period or question mark. The first thing I plan to do with my financial coup is produce a Broadway extravaganza...one that features plenty of love scenes, foreign lands, romance, pirates, cowboys, arty sets, lyrical music, acrobats and Brian Dennehy. I will produce, direct, write the book and star. It is only fair right? I mean, after all, this is MY money isn't it? I will let you know when this will all take place. I am sure free tickets for you and a friend can be arranged to opening night. Champagne and chocolate truffles will be served but hands off Dennehy. Got it? Now, go out and enjoy your day. I need to check my email. I may have another financial windfall coming my way!
Love and Hugs, Susie Q

40 comments:

Anonymous said...

LMBO!!!!!

I love your wit!!♥

mah said...

You are a funny bunny! Love it!

Cheryl Wray said...

Those emails just absolutely KILL me!!! But what's scary is...someone must be falling for them if they're still being sent.

You are a laugh riot!! LOVED this!!

Have a super day!

Penny from Enjoying The Simple Things said...

LOL! You lucky girl you!
Hugs,
Penny

Carolyn said...

Wow!! Your so lucky! ARe you sure your are not my long lost Aunt Susie Q?!?!?!?

Great Post

Carolyn

Rosemary said...

Gosh Susie,
I thought I was the one winning all of that money!!
Rosemary

Donna said...

How funny! Love your post!
Hugs,
Donna

BittersweetPunkin said...

Cute post Sue!! I know what you mean...I can't believe they still bother...or some people fall for it....

Your box is on the way!!
Hugs,
Robin

Sugar Bear said...

Love you girl! I really needed that laugh today.
Karla

Carole Burant said...

ROFL...this is even funnier since I received two of those emails this morning! hehe Oh Sue, isn't it the best feeling in the world to know we'll be so richhhhhhhhhh??!!! lol Love ya! xoxo

FHL said...

Once again you've made me chuckle...thanks Susie :o)

Anonymous said...

LOL I hear you. I don't see how we win so much and never enter.When yours all comes in send me a ticket to come see you hehe.

Sandi McBride said...

OHOHOHOH...are you trying to rob me of my money? Why just today I received two offers, the best one from Liberia...lol...I hope people aren't still falling for these!
hugs
Sandi

Valerie said...

you ARE a lucky bunny! i'm gonna come over and rub your feet for good luck!

Wendster said...

And after that? The Brian Dennehy Museum!
Please include more chocolate truffles in the lobby.

Dang ... I am so excited for you that you are so rich now!!!

I'm gonna go and check my mail.

Maybe I won an elephant or something.

Justabeachkat said...

Hmmmmm....you got an e-mail too? Darn, I thought I was the lucky one.

LOL

Hugs!
Kat

Janet said...

Wow, that just makes me so sad that I ignored all those offers; I just thought they were too good to be true. Goes to show what I know (and I always thought I was so very smart);-)

Janet

Sheila said...

Sue, once again you made me laugh and smile (I'm all teeth over here!) LOL
What a fun way to start the morning!

Rue said...

Great! That means you can buy the farmhouse for me :D LOLOLOL I get those all the time too. You're so funny LOL

Thank you for the farmhouse prayers. I really need them :)

Have a beautiful (and wealthy) day ;)
hugs and love,
rue

Andi said...

I have a bridge for sale!!!

The sad truth is we have people falling for these scams daily.

Latharia said...

You absolutely crack me up!!!!!

Anonymous said...

This was hilarious! Loved it! And I need a laugh today. My floor is being jackhammered up! (Plumbing disaster) But I give you great rewards for giving me a good belly laugh and a distraction from my misfortune. How about just a few minor details, and the fortune will be yours? Loved it. So true. Do they think we're idiots? Are we?
Brenda

Simply Heart And Home said...

Sister,

Can you spare a dime?

:)

Blessings,
Gina

CIELO said...

You are so cute! I too get those "unwanted" emails all the time, which make me think "does it ever occur to these "brainless" people that we do have brains? I don't know, even placing these emails under "spam" doesn't seem to help much. Any solution?

Looking forward to seeing you at the "Dessert Carnival"

Cielo

bj said...

I laughed and laughed all thru this delightful post. My, my....you DO have a way with words, Suzie Q..
How stupid must they think we are?!?!
You are so funny and I love your blog.
I also noticed you like the book To Kill A Mockingbird...I love the movie, too...just bought a new DVD of it this week....my old VHS was worn out anyway!!
hugs, bj

smilnsigh said...

Yeppers, the things we *pass up,* in our e-mail boxes, hu?!? Yishhhhhhhh...

And don't you wish they'd make up their mind, what sex they think you are? Geeeee.... All those *unusable* offers I get.

But I will tell you the absolute worst! The worst! I got an offer for a deal on a wheelchair!!!!! Well now, can you just imagine what I'd like to say to that SPAM sender? Hu? Hu? Hu?

If you can't, ask your husband. He's a sailor and they say, sailors can swear like the blazes! -gigggles-

Mari-Nanci
Photos-City-Mine
Smilnsigh

Cindy said...

You are too funny! I am getting sooooo many of those emails lately! It makes me wonder if they are reading our blogs to find email addresses!

Thanks...you just reminded me I need to go buy a lotto ticket tonight. I won $7 big dollars on Saturday so I'm going to buy 7 more chances to win! I guess I'll have to send a little your way if I win because I would have forgot to buy it if it weren't for this post!

Dawn-Hydrangea Home said...

Lucky you Susie! I was cracking up reading this - aren't they ridiculous!

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

I loved this! I never heard money called so many names, and you really had me laughing with this post! Really clever!

Oh --and I LOVE Brian Dennehy too! He's big enough to share.
;-)

Hugs, Pat

Meggie said...

Gee SusieQ...do you think we could be related?! I, too, get these crazy emails all the time. I sure hope there are no older folks foolish enough to fall for such things. They are so bogus! I'll make you a deal...I'll split my winnings/loot 50/50 if you'll do the same.

Sheila said...

I haven't had any of this junk mail yet.
Mine are all about watches and sexual enhancers...!

Chris@Cats On My Quilts said...

You can't be getting that money because I thought it was mine! Those people told me it was mine, mine mine! Anyways, we went from winter to summer here in NH-it was 85 yesterday. Sure does feel good. Hope this weather and the pollen doesn't get your asthma acting up.

Jolene George said...

too funny! Can there really be people out there that fall for those things and freely send them the info they want? I have those kinds of emails in my inbox every single day.

Harbor Hon said...

I am so glad someone finally wrote something totally witty about these kinds of e-mails. I laughed so hard I think I peed a little. You are a riot! Keep your good kind of humor coming.
Carolyn xxoo

Mom2fur said...

Well, my goodness, aren't you the lucky lady? How come these amazing things never happen to me?
BTW, if you get Vincent D'Onofrio to join the party...I'm there!

Anonymous said...

ROFL......too cute! Oh Susie Q. sure hope DH is all better today. Poor thing that must have scared him to death. All that rain we had over the weekend really helped to get rid of the pollen but I am going to wait one more week before I try to clean the sleeping porch off for the summer. Have a super great weekend. :)

Sweet Cottage Dreams said...

I think we are on the same emailing list! Aren't there such amazing people out there who are willing just to dump a bag of cash at our door step? NOT!!!!!!!!

I honestly think they must think we are as dumb as a box of rocks...a few fries short of a happy meal....our elevator doesn't go to the top...stuck on stupid...not the sharpest pencil in the cup...well, ya get the drift!

Cute post!!!!

xoxo
Becky

Pamela said...

Too late -- they asked me first.

Terri Steffes said...

You crack me up.

Strawberry Lane said...

So glad I'm finally back at the computer and able to check up on Suzy Q.

And what do I discover has been happening while I've been away?

You are knee deep in money !! Now, really, it's not too much to ask for your bank account numbers, do you think? They just need to be sure it goes to the right place.

Happy spending!