...as I haven't a lot of time today but did want to let you know about my big news! Yes, it is true. I am a bazillionaire. True, so true. Why, soon, oh so soon, I will have currency flowing into my bank account in many different variations. The riches will be in the form of Deutsche Mark, Dinar, Dirham, Drachma, Dollar, Euro, Franc, Guilder, Koruna, Kip, Rupee, Shekel, Som, Tala, Yen, Won, Krona, Lira, Peso, Pound and Punt.
I must be the luckiest person on this Earth! Almost daily I receive email from all over the world. It seems that my web account and/or my name itself, has been chosen dozens of times, nay, hundreds of times, to be the recipient of vast fortunes. Some will be the loot I won in sweepstakes and lotteries from as far away as Vietnam! Yes! And I have no recollection of entering! Isn't that amazing? Some monies will come from old, long forgotten bank accounts, some will arrive ahead of their owners as they make their way into the US.
I will then be awarded half the monies for my assistance. Even more will be awarded to me as I am the only living relative of long dead people who I never knew or heard about. Hmmm...I wonder about that one since I do have a living Mom and a brother and wouldn't THEY too be relatives of those...oh well. Let them be awarded their OWN riches. Hmpf. This money is mine, all mine! Oh yes, I am wallowing in money. Dough. Moolah. Bread. Boodle. Smackers. Coppers. Bucks. Greenbacks. Maggies. Clams, Scratch and Jack.
And all I have to do is send these wonderfully generous folks my bank account numbers, my telephone numbers, address, full name, credit card numbers, second cousin's (twice removed, sordid tale that I shan't speak about) middle name and the combination of my high school gym locker. That one was the toughie. Bad memory and all. And these people are trustworthy. After all, they use really BIG words and called me *Madam*, said please and thank you and had *Esquire* at the end of their names! Whoa! Now that is impressive! Heck, I don't have anything at the end of my name except a period or question mark.
The first thing I plan to do with my financial coup is produce a Broadway extravaganza...one that features plenty of love scenes, foreign lands, romance, pirates, cowboys, arty sets, lyrical music, acrobats and Brian Dennehy. I will produce, direct, write the book and star. It is only fair right? I mean, after all, this is MY money isn't it?
I will let you know when this will all take place. I am sure free tickets for you and a friend can be arranged to opening night. Champagne and chocolate truffles will be served but hands off Dennehy. Got it?
Now, go out and enjoy your day. I need to check my email. I may have another financial windfall coming my way!
Love and Hugs,
Susie Q
