It's Me, Kipper

Hi Dudes! It's me, Kipper. I am havin' to write my Mom's blog again 'cause she is doin' somethin' else. Really, she is lookin' kinda bad dudes. Totally. I love her and all but she has these runny eyes and goes around sneezin' and stuff and Dude! It like really wakes me up so I don't get my 20 a day in and I hate that. Whoa right dude? Anyway. It was like Cinco de Mayo Monday which was the 5th of May. Get it? Like dude, cinco means five right? Pay attention and I might teach ya somethin'. I am pretty smart 'cause I took 3 sessions of puppy school. Okay, so my family says they are goin' to this place they really like to eat food. Now, dudes. Do you think *I*got 'vited? No way! That is SO like...WRONG DUDE! So, I get to go to Grandma's and stay with Abby which is cool and all 'cause I love Abby and my Grandma but then Grandma went with my family so she wasn't there to spoil me or nuthin' which was lame. Right? So the family goes to this place leavin' me and Abs all alone. Really sad right dudes? SO sad. Then it hits me. (Yeah 'cause I am really smart and all 'cause I went to puppy school 3 times an all.) NO, NOT really *hit* me just came into my head and all. Gee whiz dudes! So, I am thinkin'. It is like the first Monday of the month and that SO mean Ritter's DOG Nite. DUDES! I am like checkin' the clock and waitin' and I would have SO called my family on the phone but they did not cover that in puppy school. So, while Abs and I are chillin' and bein' really, like sad, the family is listening to these guys...

...and this guy... ...and drinkin' stuff like this...which looks kinda good but is not. For dogs that is. ...and eatin' stuff like that. Which looks good for dogs. And is. But, did I, Kipper, get any of it? Man! Dude! No way! So, now it is like 18th 0'thirty o'clock and they finally come get us. I was so all like, "Dude!" And they were all like, "What?" And I am so like, "All the 'scream will be so gone". And they were all like, "Chill." So we left. I have never been this late for Dog Nite and my dogs will be expectin' me and all and I was way in a hurry. So I got in the old man's lap and tried to get him to like kick it into warp speed or somethin'. I heard that on TV once and it sounds so cool dude. So we finally get there and they still have some 'scream left so I was really happy and some of my pals were there and we chilled. I need to tell you that my Mom did not take good or too cool pictures 'cause of her eyes an all. And she didn't take as many either. Don't you worry dudes. I will SO have a talk with her 'bout it! This is Brody. He is always so smilin' that guy. He is one happy dude and like him a lot. We bonded him and me, the Kipster. This is Elliot talkin' to my Mom and he is like way cool and didn't even say nothin' 'bout her sneezin' and yucky eyes which are so, like, UNcool dude. That is me on the right, with the old man, sayin' howdedo to Elliot's brother, Tommy. They are from Italy or someplace like that. They are greyhounds, which I do not get dude. They are like brown, black and white. NO grey. But they are cool and always say somethin' funny which makes me laugh and then 'scream comes out of my nose which is not cool. And they can run really fast but they don't let 'em do it at Ritter's. This guy is Cooper. I call him The Coop. Like in Gary or Alice. He looks kinda sad in this picture but he is a really happy dude. Maybe he looks sad 'cause all his 'scream is so gone. Oh man, now I am sad too. Now these girls are Prissy and Pudge. They are a riot! I love 'em. We interfaced awhile and chilled and swapped some jokes. These girls LOVE a good knock knock joke. This is Missy. She is real sweet and loves peanut butter 'scream! Cool. I am thinkin' I should have SO used my brother's hair gel that's got those *furrymanes* in it so the girls would be like all over me but then, they are already lovin' them some K.I.P so maybe not. Anyway, I might be callin' little Missy for a date. IF I figure out what a call or a date is. Maybe I need to go back for a 4th session of puppy school huh dudes? These guys were new to Dog Nite! Welcome Rocky... ...and his brother Sammy. They really liked the 'scream and all and said they would be back next time too. That is so cool 'cause they were fun and nice and we all liked 'em. This is Calvin and he is pretty tired after eating all his 'scream and then *borrowin'* some of his brother Jack's too. Jack was pretty miffed but his Dad got him some more so he was cool. Calvin and I had a real face to face about the upcoming election and all. He was like, "Kip? What is an election dude?" And I was all like, "Who cares unless we can eat it or tear it up." And he was so like, "Dude!" And we all laughed. This is my sister with Trinket who is a chihuahua. She is like SO little and I like her and she is pretty and all but my sissy sure likes those chihuahuas. I get a little jealous 'cause I do not get how she can pay so much attention to any dog but me right? Trinket did not even finish her 'scream so she let ME eat the rest. Now THAT is a lady dudes. Trinket? I LOVE ya! This is Tigger. Tigger like some of the peanut butter 'scream that Missy likes too! Tigger is so much like me even though he does not look like me 'cause there is only one K.I.P. He was tossed out at the front door of a shelter, just like me. He was not treated right by some bad people, just like me. He was really scared for awhile, just like me. Then he was adopted by NICE people and loved and taken for 'scream at Ritter's, just like me. And he is waaaay cute says my Mom, just like me. One more picture of my pal Brody. He was singin' here! Really dudes. Singin'! And he is so good. I was so gonna stay and sing some with him, maybe start a Ritter's Barbershop Quartet or somethin', but I was gettin' really tired. DOG Tired. Get it?? Huh dudes? I got a million of 'em! Dog Nite takes a lot outta a little guy like me. I hope you had a really cool Cinco de Mayo and ate some 'scream and all. I will be back next month to take you to Ritter's again so, 'till then, be cool dudes and be nice to dogs and cats and all the animals in the world 'cause we are REALLY important. Bye dudes.