Like Call For Help Dudes!

Hey there...it's me, your buddy Kipper. I'm sure you all missed seein' me the first of the month didn't you dudes? Yup, I knew it. You all remembered Ritter's Dog Nite right? Well, gee whizzies dudes, my humans forgot. Like really dudes! They F.O.R.G.O.T. Oh yeah and all that. They say it was because my Mom was babysittin' my cousin Boo and my dad had to work some late some nights and school had just started for sissy Grace and bro Dan and some other things that do not like have a thing to do with me, the Kipper. I say to them, "You humans gots issues? Here's some tissues!" My old man was not amused. But I think that my monthly Dog Nites at Ritter's should be like respected don't you dudes? I just have no idea how Ritter's pulled off their September Dog Nite dudes. It musta been one huge bust of a dog nite for sure. Dudes I mean, the Kip was not in attendance. THE KIP WAS NOT THERE! I can only imagine the girls wailin' and the guys cussin' and oh what a scene it musta been. Dogs layin' all over with their tongues hangin' out and slobberin...okay, so they do that anyway but just imagine...The phone rings around this house every day so I can only assume it is my dog friends callin' and demandin' I come to the next one. Or it could be Ritter's callin' and demandin' that I be there or they will go outta business. Not that anyone here ever lets' me answer the phone or nuthin'. Sheesh. Just 'cause I am short and have no opposable thumbs. I get like so dissed 'round here dudes. My humans keep sayin' they are like so sorry (I so KNOW you are sorry you sorry humans you) They say they will make it up to me. They even took me over to the Dairy Queen for some ice cream. Like THAT was gonna work? Okay, so I scarfed down the frozen stuff and it was good and all but hey. There was not like one dog there to party wiff or nuthin'. Just made me like sad you know dudes? So, I am like askin' you all to help a poor, sad, mistreated doggie dudes. Call your senator dudes and congressman dudes. I don't have any idea what a senator or a congressman is but I heard that once on TV so it must be helpful. Or call the President, he has a dog. How about callin' that Brian Dennehy dude. I hear he likes dogs and he is pretty tough right? Or maybe that Queen in England. I saw a picture my Mom has and that Queen lady has loads of dogs so she would probably help a poor little guy like me out huh? I would like SO do this for all of you dudes. *sniff*