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Thursday, December 18, 2008

Yikes! It's Santa!

9*1*1!! Help! Can you hear me? Can you hear me NOW? I need assistance...I am being held captive by a deranged man in a red suit! HELP! Santa needs meds...lots and lots of meds. Buckets full of meds.
Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em right Santa?
Ah, when I was but a tyke nothing would make my eyes shine brighter than opening up a carton of cigarettes on Christmas morning! Thank you Santa!
Now we KNOW the economy is bad. Santa had to hock the sleigh and all 8 reindeer. Gee but it's gonna take him a loooong time to deliver all those presents via the subway.
Just in case you didn't like the Chesterfield brand...how about a Pall Mall for the kiddies?
Or wait! What about a pack of Camels? Never saw a child who didn't get all excited over a can of Prince Albert tobacco! Whoo Hoo!
Now are any of these a Santa you would want to come down YOUR chimney?
Yikes! I think Santa just smacked the heck outta that poor little fella with those straw thingamajigs. Look at his face...heck, it scared me! Am I the only one who is suddenly thinking "So THAT was what happened to Rasputin"?
Oh now this is just terrible! Santa is creeping up to these two unsuspecting children, ready to pounce and scream, "BOO!". That chair is gonna need a goooood cleanin'...
*Insert Scary Muzak* You are all under my spell...you will do as I say...you are powerless to object...
Okay, this guy needs no caption. The face says it all...I think I saw him on an episode of MSNBC's Lock Up - San Quentin. *shiver* Nothing says Happy Holidays more than hiring paroled
ax murderers to play Santa. Okay, now *I* am gonna have nightmares...just exactly what is he gonna do with those switches huh?
I don't know about you but I need to go and watch Miracle On 34th Street immediately!
Just for grins & giggles...
Love and Hugs,
Susie Q

30 comments:

Harbor Hon said...

Thanks for the Christmas freak-out! :) You are too funny! Where did you come up with that post? Weird minds are a terrible thing to waste. Ho! Ho! Ho! xxoo

Kathleen Grace said...

Oh my! Those French Santas would scare anyone out of being naughty! (((Shudder))).

SmilingSally said...

Hmm, what's that Santa on the subway holding? What's in that bag? Something liquid?

Until CocaCola "made" Santa over, he was thought of as a strict, meaner guy.

Rebecca Ramsey said...

Hilarious!
For years my kids were so scared of Santa that we had to leave him notes on the front door to leave the presents on the porch.

Anonymous said...

Susie Qness! You're so cute and this post was hilarious! Keep those foul smelling scarey looking Santies away from me!

Be a sweetie,
shelia ;)

Gretchen said...

Hi-larious! I sure hope you've been good this year.

The cell phone and smoking santas kill me.

I had a nutrition and health professor who labeled each lecture with a catchy name. I won't soon forget his "Why Santa Claus Has Cancer" talk. ;)

KaiBlue said...

Aloha Santa..I mean Susie, lol.

Yessum indeed we share the same town in Ohio..I feel a coffee shop moment coming on..lol.. I'm in Beavercreek but have been know to fly over gods most precious planet to visit folks..
:) Merry christmas!!
PEace, Kai

Salmagundi said...

Funny stuff! Thanks for my giggle for the day. Sally

Anonymous said...

I am old enough to remember someone giving cigarettes and tobacco as gifts. Not to me;-)..but I remember family members receiving tobacco..in fact Prince Albert.

I enjoyed this post and I also caught a glimpse of your beautiful home! Love it!!

nikkicrumpet said...

You are just to freaking funny...and yes there are some seriously scary Santas there...I'm lighting a BIG fire so he'll have to knock...that way I can get a look at him before I let him in!

Melissa said...

Gives me shivers just looking at some of those guys!

Rosemary said...

Hi Susie,
Love all of your beautiful decorations. Your home looks amazing.
Love all of the Santas too!!
Rosemary

Andi said...

Okay Ms. Susie Q...your Santa's are a little over the top...yikes!!! Who would have thought Santa would "light one up"!!! Too funny!

Latharia said...

LOL...I laughed out loud at your Rasputin comment. :) And I've given you an award on my blog. :D

Sue said...

love the first guy....how miserable did he look...kinda like my husband on a bad day!

Donna, The Decorated House said...

Hey Sue~
Those Santa pictures are so funny. Those early guys are scary!

I loved seeing your Christmas pictures. So lovely and festive.
Hugs, Donna

Anonymous said...

(((Sue)))
Merry Christmas oh cute one!!!!

xo,
Kim

Anonymous said...

that was me above.. hit send too soon! ;-)

xoxoxo,
Kim

Harbor Hon said...

I took your tag challenge ... come visit me soon. xxoo

Sandi McBride said...

OMG Susie...that scared the beejeebers out of me...was Santa ever so scary? I have a picture of me with Santa on my sidebar for Christmas (aged 5) and he doesn't look scary at all...maybe I'll go look to be sure...and did anyone ask Santa if he had Prince Albert in a can? I'm sure the Queen would have thumped hell out of him if he didn't let him out! Much as I love the Royal Family, Queen Victoria had a rather harsh look about her, too...thanks for the look at the dark side of Santa...
hugs
Sandi

Pamela said...

I'M GOING TO BLOCK MY CHIMNEY.

Connie said...

I'd cry too if those little screaming munchkins were sitting on my lap, sweet cherub!!!! Yikes,
Smooches,
Connie

Melanie said...

So funny!!! Santa can be a bit intimidating, can't he? Thanks for sharing. Now I'm officially freaked out! Hugs

Anonymous said...

Too funny, what a great post -- thanks for the laugh, SQ

Cheryl Wray said...

LOL This is HILARIOUS!!! Those first pictures with the kiddoes were so funny!

Cecile said...

Too Funny!
Thanks for making me laugh::))

Ms. ~K said...

Boy, did I need that today!!!
Hilarious!
Ho Ho Ho, Back Atcha!!!
Kit

Anonymous said...

Miracle on 34th Street was the theme of most of Macy's windows in NYC this year

Jeanie said...

Love it! Oh, I DO love it -- the smoking santas and scary French dude -- yikes!

Sheila said...

Those "smoking Santas" look so obsolete now! It's hard to imagine in this day and age with all of the anti-smoking ads and such, that they ever showed SANTA CLAUS of all people with cigarettes!