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Friday, July 18, 2008

I Am Worried Silly, Just Sayin'

Ah...pretty Summer flowers. So sweet and yet they headline a not so sweet post.
Pleas do continue on down to read my Fun Foto Post and the Minnesota Wedding post if you have yet to see them...(And yes! That is a shameless bit of post self promotion!) Kipper would also encourage you to pop on back down the blog to read his Ritter's post of a week ago too but that is just him. Hmpf.
This will be a gentle rant. Really, it will be.
One of the dearest bloggers in my circle has received a very unkind comment and this left me a wee bit angry. Okay, so it angered me a lot. Maybe it is just good old me who has yet to understand how anyone gets their assorted jollies by being cruel. Or attempting to be. Free speech is a privilege but does not mean free to be out and out snarky.
I love an exchange of ideas. I love hearing other folk's opinions. I respect that. I love that! That said, none of us will ever totally please everyone. Impossible.
But here is a memo to all those who feel they MUST smack at others with words...it takes a small person to indulge in such play. Why read a blog if you do not enjoy it? D'uh.
Life is too short for that eh? Why do some feel the need to tell a blogger off and regale them with
all the reasons they hate their blog? Are they so devoid of self esteem?
And, if said surly bloggers are only looking for *soul mate* bloggers who perfectly mirror themselves, well, how sad would that be? How does one grow intellectually, creatively or spiritually in this way?
And, just why do many of those who unleash their hostilities on others, do so anonymously?
Yup, we all KNOW why. Under that cloak of anonymity they feel strong. But we all know better don't we?
To chastise someone for being proud of where they live is silly. To snarl and fuss because a blogger eats in a healthy manner and exercises regularly is odd. If you hate those who do, you are so gonna LOVE me right? (I'm just sayin'...)
Some of us are more, well, gifted shall we say, financially. Some of us are not. Some are better traveled, have better careers, are better cooks and are just plain better lookin' than some others.
Some bloggers live in bigger houses, have bigger gardens (with fewer weeds), drive bigger cars
(Only in America would this be a real issue!), why even their dogs are bigger! (Now, if you want a big cat, I offer up my chubby Lucy. Just sayin')
Should I only desire blog friends who live in one room flea bag hotels, suffer the heartbreak of psoriasis and hangnails, gain weight by gazing at the labels of soup cans, raise hoards of dust bunnies under their beds & order pizza every night because their cooking has been declared a world health hazard by the FDA? My self esteem might rise a few notches perhaps but how inspiring would this be? Besides, I too have the occasional hangnail. *sigh*
To paraphrase Sgt. Esterhaus from Hill Street Blues., "Let's all be careful out there...careful with one another." There will never be true peace in this world if we, as women (and the few men who read my blog) bloggers can not even treat one another with kindness.
Now, here is where I fess up and say I too have received a few, dizzy fizzy comments and emails.
I used to let it bother me but no longer. I am getting too old to let such things ruin a good day.
And, if I am awake, breathing and able to get out of bed, it IS a good day.
I have even received one or 32 emails in which the writer felt he or she needed to point out my short comings. Let's discuss some of the best tidbits shall we? Oh, and I have also included the exact spelling and grammar used in said tidbits...ahem.
Pay attention now class, there WILL be a test.
"You thnk you are so funny but you are NOT!"
"The music on your play list is awful. Get rid of it!"
"Your pictures is not so great. Stop showing them or I wil not come here no more."
"You will burn in Hell for adultress behavor."
(This was in reference to my crush on a certain actor. Bill laughed himself silly. Should I be offended? Not by the email, but my husband's laughter?)
"If you had to adopt kids, God must hate you. God gives babies to those He loves."
I know, I know...we ALL know how ridiculous THIS is!
"You could be a little pretty of you lost weight."
But I wanted to be a LOT pretty...gee whiz.
"I won't be back because I thought you were a good Christian and you are not!"
"I will not come here anymore because you are too Christian for me."
Like I said, we can not please everyone can we?
And we are only scratching the iceberg's tip of some of the fun I have read!
I will admit I worry about keeping the bloggers I have come to know and love, well, keeping you all happy. When a post receives only a few comments, I often worry that it was too wordy, too silly, too boring...too, too, too.
I worry that if I am unable to leave comments on other blogs, will they stop coming by to see me?
I worry that if I do not get around to welcoming a new commenter, they will stop coming by.
If a blog friend has not left a comment in awhile, I worry that I have offended them, bored them, run them off in some way.
Worry IS my middle name (Okay, so you all know it is really Ellen but Worry is more apt.)
I thrive on worry.
I worry that if I don't post enough photos about my house, those who adore home decor (Me included!) will stop coming. I worry that if I post more photos of my home, those who are bored by home decor will stop coming. Huh? Yeah...I know.
So there you have it. I worry and it is silly. I KNOW it is. I am who I am and I write what I write. I guess I can only hope I don't bore everyone but if I do, it is just me being me right?
I worry, I do worry, I have worries, I will worry, I might worry. Worry, worry, worry.
If I ever write anything that a fellow blogger does not agree with, I welcome their comment. I may well learn something. I welcome being told I have been offensive if I have...but there are right and wrong ways to
complain. I doubt that any of us would wish to outright offend anyone, especially our dear friends. I worry about that.
I might even worry that this post will leave some of you scratching your head and asking yourself why you bothered to drop by at all.
None of us are perfect. None of us get out of this life without some pain, worry, stress and sadness. No matter the size of your home, dog or bankbook, those things will find you.
To dislike someone because they live differently, dress differently, speak differently is silly. To dislike someone because they have a different color of skin, worship in a different manner,
read different books or watch Dancing With The Stars when you don't is, well, even more silly.
Silly, silly, silly. Monty Python had wonderful routines about silly people. I would include them but those who find Monty Python ridiculous would be offended. *silly smile*
So, in memory of Sgt. Phil Esterhaus, be careful out there...be careful with one another. I will worry about it if you don't...*grin* I'm just sayin'....
Love and Hugs,
Susie Q

29 comments:

Michelle said...

oh my! I can't believe some of the comments you've received! I don't understand why people have to be nasty and rude - as you said, if you don't like a blog, or it's contents, or pictures, just stop visiting! My goodness, there doesn't need to be such rudeness!

Mary Isabella said...

This was a wonderful post. I agree that if one does not like the blog then simply do not visit it. You do not have to be mean, cruel, hurtful, or rude. I enjoy blogging and seeing all the things my friends have and do. I do not live in a big house and I am sometimes challenged in the fiance department due to my husband's health problem's. I Am happy and since I have been blogging have met so many wonderful people. It has added quality to my life. Thank -you all for inviting me into your homes and lives....Mary

Lisa said...

YOU JUST GO GIRL!!!!!!

Connie said...

WOW, my little rabbit, a chick with fortitude, principles and is NOT afraid to speak her mind. I think I'm in love with you, sweetpea! I agree wholeheartedly. Especially since just yesterday "something came across my desk" and I was disgusted, stymied, flabbergasted and "struck dumb" with it!! It came from a very sweet blogger who emailed me with a pretty peculiar problem with another blogger. She called me and with a little "input" from me she solved it eloquently, I think.

This post could be long - and it will be - but could be longer because of similar feelings.

I had a website for about a year but closed it in Oct/Nov. of last year because one of the frustrations was receiving emails such as you noted receiving on your blog. That's why I moderate every single one. I had one person - don't know if it was man or woman - who told me on a regular basis that I was destined for hades simply because I posted my testimony as an article on my site. I think NOT, my chickadees! He/she will beat me to the punch and take up my SPOT there!! I was also tired of receiving emails about all kinds of drugs and "other" paraphernalia if you get my drift.

Now, I'm a very religious Christian and do not seek to antagonize anyone. I simply want to blog about decorating, crafting, humor, my man, kids, grandkids and anything that pops into my head. I'm not a worrier, sweet Suzy Q, but I understand how it can affect you. I can give no advice on "not worrying" except to say "stop it!"

I do NOT abide rudeness, crassness or "true" negativeness. If it's funny then it's fine. I also wonder if someone wants more photos, more chatter, more or less humor (less ain't happening, chickee!) or more or less "whatever." In the sum of all things I just need to be ME - Connie and that's how it is and will be probably.

I truly welcome all and have no problem rejecting those kind of comments of which you speak, sweet lady. Good luck from a bright, witty and lovely rabbit and one "HOT NANA CHICKEE"!! Hah

Smoochies,
Connie

Rebecca Ramsey said...

It's hard to understand why people can be so hurtful and downright mean. The comments you shared are just amazing. What is wrong with these people?

I just hope your blogger friend can see them for what they are and not let it get her down.

By the way, I share the same worries. And I LOVE your blog!
Becky

Manspace said...

Susie Q,
Sometimes what people say tells you more about them than you.
G

Shelia said...

How horrible for those folks to be mean to you! Shame on them! I'm glad you got all of this off your chest, tho! I'm so new at this but I'm sure my time is coming. You know ya can't please everyone - so ya got to please yourself! - 'Garden Party' by Ricky Nelson. I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. Sometimes I think in songs. Well, I love you and love your picture with your bunny ears and that you're so famous with the movie stars and all and I love rabbits!!
Be a sweetie and have a wonderful weekend.
Be a sweetie,
Shelia ;)

Andi said...

Well after first feeling appalled...I had to chuckle a bit. My, my...these people do need to get a life don't they!!!

I adore you...think you're beautiful and pretty darn perfect...a great Mom...very witty...a creative writer...have a wonderful, welcoming home that is beautifully decorated...the list could go on and on. Okay so I was a little concerned about the "adultress behavior"...Yikes!!!

And I too fret a bit when someone hasn't left me a comment in a while for fear I may have posted something they found offensive...human nature I suppose.

Please keep on being you!!!

Love and Hugs Dear Sue, Andi

Shelia said...

Afternoon, Susie Q! and thanks for popping in to see my 1st Pink Saturday! It was so much fun and I kinda went off on a 'rabbit trail' if you know what I mean. lol I'm so glad Grace and you enjoyed my silliness! Please come again, I'm sure there will be more in the future!
Have a wonderful day and be a sweetie,
Shelia ;)

Gretchen said...

I'm sorry for the unkind things people have said to you and others, Sue. You are one of the first blogs I've ever read, and I keep coming back because you're a breath of fresh air and I happen to love all your pictures and your two beautiful children. I also think it's neat that you can have a harmless movie star crush and your hubby thinks it's fine. I mean, c.o.m.e. o.n. folks! You're right--we do need to be careful of and with each other. Never worry when I don't visit, Sue, it's only due to busyness, not lack of desire for visiting blogs. :)
xxxooogretchen

Greenie Gardens said...

Good post. I agree, it's just nasty to say mean things! Didn't mother always say- if you can't say something nice- then, don't say anything at all!

Strawberry Lane said...

Those dreadful posts ... it just proves again that there are more on the "outside than the inside".

Or, perhaps they are on the "inside".

There is no excuse for writing such negative comments to others except bad breeding? (Oh, dear, did I say that?)

Actually, the spelling shows that their education is basic. Perhaps we can make excuses for them on that basis.

In the meantime, "delete" works well.

Keep writing, keep the music playing ... it makes my day!

Rosemary said...

OMG Susie,
There are a lot of crazies out there!! They can't spell or speak correctly either.
I love your blog, and if I don't visit it's only because I was sooooo busy that day.
Keep it up, you are funny, and I love your pictures, music etc.
Have fun like you always do!!!
Thanks for visiting me today!!!
Rosemary

Picket said...

Hello friend..Thanks so much for coming by..hope you are having a great weekend....Sorry you had to deal with such rude and childish comments..Best thing to do is ignore them..don't even give them a second thought.it only feeds their fire when they see they get to you. There are some pitiful people in this world. Just keep being true to yourself girl and for goodness sake STOP WORRYING!!! lol

Envoy-ette said...

It is hard to believe people will actually take the time to tell us how much they hate us....
They must have tooooo much time on their hands.....

Pamela said...

Those are some very rude comments -- hope you don't let them discourage you -- or your friend.

We all worry. Because a comment is two dimensional...I always wonder if my silly humor is sometimes mistaken for something else.

Terri said...

You know I always thought it would be nice to have more comments on my blog, but if they're going to be mean...well, I guess I am happy enough the way things are!

Some folks feel so badly about themselves that they can only feel better when the put down others. Pretty pathetic.

God bless!
Terri

Sheila said...

Some people are just plain MEAN! Those comments sounds like they came from a 12 or 13-year old! (Hmm, maybe they did, you never know!) Anyway, don't let it get you down... you've got the most wonderful blog on the planet, and that's why you have so many readers and people who love you. Don't change a thing!
Anyone who is in the public eye, whether it be a blog, or a TV star, or The Beatles - is going to get some people who like them and some who don't. Who just have to go with the positive and ignore the negative. If someone doesn't like something, they SHOULD just keep it to themself, but I think it makes them feel powerful to actually post them. So try not to worry! :)

Donna said...

Hi Sue,
People can be so mean, and I don't understand why.
I'm sorry you and your friend got some rude and hurtful comments.
Just keep up the good blogging and enjoy!
Hope you're having a good weekend.
Hugs,
Donna

justabeachkat said...

Thank you sweet Sue! Well said. You go girl!

Hugs!
Kat

Rue said...

Oh sweet Susie Q.... you don't have to worry about me. I will always come back. It may take awhile to catch up, but I will be here as soon as I can.

People that leave mean messages are unhealthy mentally, so don't worry about them... feel sorry for them and their families.

I love you sweetie! Don't worry so much!! ;)

hugs,
rue

JafaBrit's Art said...

wow!!!!!!!!! Somebody actually took the time to make those comments?

I agree with manspace's comment
"Sometimes what people say tells you more about them than you."

Indigo Robe said...

You've got to be kidding me! I am always amazed at people who "offer advice" when none was asked for. Does anyone have tact anymore? Manners? Not that I would even THINK those things, let alone write them to someone. You are very beautiful, inside and out but you don't need me to tell you that. Just know that I appreciate your continuing to blog because if I got nut cases like that writing to me, I would be reconsidering. But then the nuts would win. And I don't want the nuts to win! :-)

xoxo
Margie

Meggie said...

Whew! You said a mouthful...but quite well I might add. There will always be idiots that feel the need to be mean and cruel. Even though it hurts a bit to hear or read their comments, I try not to obsess about it. Easier said than done, I know....

sheila said...

daggggummmmm...apparently, some people have far too much time on their hands that could be better spent on a whole bunch of things...like prayin' for a better attitude...or at least for better manners...

well, consider the source is all I can say :)

and, well, my standard reply to such trash talkin'...

"Yo Mama" :)

(I can't help it...I'm still sittin' here grinnin' over the whole adulteress thing...I guess you & Brian need to break that thang off)

FHL said...

My word! I can't believe what some people will write...

Don't worry about me Sue (((Hugs))) I love your blog and always leave with a smile. And please, please, please, never stop posting your amazing photos! Love them!

Alice said...

I think if there were an award for dippy blog comments some of those would surely win. Nutburger comments are easy enough to laugh off; it's the ones that kind of hit home a little bit that do sting.

Anonymous said...

What happened to "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"? Who needs to spread negativity? Very sad.

By the way, I DO think you are funny, or should I say your DOG is funny, I crack up at his Ritter's posts, so silly -- my favorite kind of humor!

Laurie S.
Laurie4567@aol.com

Firefly Nights said...

Where in the world are you and Rue attracting these people from? I don't think everyone's blog comment should always be oozing cotton candy sweetness (as in the case of the rather blunt comment I left your husband after reading about what he did to you re: the company coming date fiasco) but you guys are attracting some truly rude folks.

They can turn off your music if they don't like it,, they don't have to look at your pictures, and maybe you'd be a little prettier if you lost weight, but tell them that at least you have the opportunity to do it but they'll just stay ugly forever.

If you're an adultress because you lusted in your heart after an actor, right on. After all, Barbara Walters didn't begin to get interesting until she told all in her book.

If you adopted kids you must truly be a special person with room in your heart to welcome children into your home.

Maybe I'm just cranky in the middle of the night but blog comments like the ones you described are just a pile of doggie doo. It would truly be funny if it wasn't for the fact that I know comments like that hurt the people they are left for.

Like I said, where are you finding these idiots? Bloggers just want to have a nice time interacting with their online friends. Sometimes there are controversial topics and I think that's good, but I just don't understand why someone has to be so blatantly rude as in the comments you described. Makes me glad I set my blog up so that the national search engines don't find it.