Let's flashback to Tuesday of last week. I had been to the grocery and spent a bazillion dollars getting all ready for our guests. It was hot and oh so humid. I think the dew point was 194 1/2 % or so, or maybe it was just me. Came home from said grocery and put away a bazillion dollars worth of groceries. At this point I wanted to lie down and have a nap but I, being the brilliant masochist that I am, thought, gee, why don't I go out into the heat/humidity and clean my van! It will be used for chauffeuring our guests around town and it needed a good brush up.
So I spend a good hour on it and quit just before I completely dissolved into a puddle of goo.
I come in all sweaty and dirty and vile and decide that I will throw the first of the laundry in the washer, have a glass of iced tea and sit down for a bit. After all, I have over 24 hours until my guests arrive. Right? Plenty of time to clean and fluff and bake and cook a few things to put away. RIGHT?
I pour the tea, not into the glass but straight onto the floor. Now I need the mop. I am standing there with sweat still running down my face. Oh and there is also that annoying trickle that streams steadily down my spine. You know the one right? Get the picture? No make up, dirty sweats with the torn pocket, barefoot and my hair is plastered to my forehead. Pretty huh?
The dirty clothes are in piles all over the kitchen floor, the couch has been stripped of it's cushions and pillows so I can get in there and vacuum up every strand of pet hair. All the beds have been stripped of their sheets, the towels removed from the bathroom for washing and the cleaning accouterments out and at the ready.
Now, back to that iced tea puddle slowly spreading in front of my refrigerator. I retrieve the mop and begin. "Kipper! Stop barking! I already have a huge headache. I do not need that!"
Kipper does not listen, he is much too busy barking at the people getting out of the car in front of the house. This I do not see...I am blissfully unaware of the impending doom. For a full 1 1/2 minutes more I assume that Kipper is madly barking at a neighbor out for a walk.
Sadly, no. The door bell rings. And where is my husband you ask? Working late, which he rarely does, so he can get ahead before our company arrives. After all, we still have over 24 hours.
Dan? At a conference in Cincinnati for the day. Grace? Splashing about in our neighbor's
lawn sprinkler. We have over 24 hours to go...no worries.
The door bell rings again. I head to the door with mop in hand, determining that I need not open the door for anyone but the closest of family or friends due to the condition of the house and my personal appearance. I peek. I see a family of German citizens who my husband has told me were arriving on Wednesday night. This is Tuesday afternoon. I panic. I think I may have blacked out for several seconds. I cuss out my husband. I actually consider NOT opening the door and hiding in that cool, dark near by coat closet. I ask God why! I have been a good girl right?
The door bell rings again. That closet looks awfully inviting. I open the door.
The next hour is a blur. A sweaty, embarrassing, I do not speak German blur. I do, however, remember calling my husband 5 or 498 times on his office and cell phones. No answer. For 3 1/2 hours no answer. Argh.
Only another woman can truly appreciate how awful this was. I survived. The guests survived.
Bill? The verdict is still out on that.
Showing posts with label Craziness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Craziness. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
You Have To Be Kidding Me!
Let's flashback to Tuesday of last week. I had been to the grocery and spent a bazillion dollars getting all ready for our guests. It was hot and oh so humid. I think the dew point was 194 1/2 % or so, or maybe it was just me. Came home from said grocery and put away a bazillion dollars worth of groceries. At this point I wanted to lie down and have a nap but I, being the brilliant masochist that I am, thought, gee, why don't I go out into the heat/humidity and clean my van! It will be used for chauffeuring our guests around town and it needed a good brush up.
So I spend a good hour on it and quit just before I completely dissolved into a puddle of goo.
I come in all sweaty and dirty and vile and decide that I will throw the first of the laundry in the washer, have a glass of iced tea and sit down for a bit. After all, I have over 24 hours until my guests arrive. Right? Plenty of time to clean and fluff and bake and cook a few things to put away. RIGHT?
I pour the tea, not into the glass but straight onto the floor. Now I need the mop. I am standing there with sweat still running down my face. Oh and there is also that annoying trickle that streams steadily down my spine. You know the one right? Get the picture? No make up, dirty sweats with the torn pocket, barefoot and my hair is plastered to my forehead. Pretty huh?
The dirty clothes are in piles all over the kitchen floor, the couch has been stripped of it's cushions and pillows so I can get in there and vacuum up every strand of pet hair. All the beds have been stripped of their sheets, the towels removed from the bathroom for washing and the cleaning accouterments out and at the ready.
Now, back to that iced tea puddle slowly spreading in front of my refrigerator. I retrieve the mop and begin. "Kipper! Stop barking! I already have a huge headache. I do not need that!"
Kipper does not listen, he is much too busy barking at the people getting out of the car in front of the house. This I do not see...I am blissfully unaware of the impending doom. For a full 1 1/2 minutes more I assume that Kipper is madly barking at a neighbor out for a walk.
Sadly, no. The door bell rings. And where is my husband you ask? Working late, which he rarely does, so he can get ahead before our company arrives. After all, we still have over 24 hours.
Dan? At a conference in Cincinnati for the day. Grace? Splashing about in our neighbor's
lawn sprinkler. We have over 24 hours to go...no worries.
The door bell rings again. I head to the door with mop in hand, determining that I need not open the door for anyone but the closest of family or friends due to the condition of the house and my personal appearance. I peek. I see a family of German citizens who my husband has told me were arriving on Wednesday night. This is Tuesday afternoon. I panic. I think I may have blacked out for several seconds. I cuss out my husband. I actually consider NOT opening the door and hiding in that cool, dark near by coat closet. I ask God why! I have been a good girl right?
The door bell rings again. That closet looks awfully inviting. I open the door.
The next hour is a blur. A sweaty, embarrassing, I do not speak German blur. I do, however, remember calling my husband 5 or 498 times on his office and cell phones. No answer. For 3 1/2 hours no answer. Argh.
Only another woman can truly appreciate how awful this was. I survived. The guests survived.
Bill? The verdict is still out on that.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Birthdays, Craziness And More Snow?
Uh huh. So they say. Up to 6 inches of the white fluffy mess. Sheesh. Winter is doing more than gasping his last...he is being quite the bully and treating Spring miserably. Each time that sweet season tries to bring us a little respite from the ice, old man Winter rears his hard head and slams it right into little Spring. Poor bruised and battered girl, she hangs back and retreats but each time she does so, she gains strength. Soon she will be strong enough to tackle that mean old coot. Knock him right back where he belongs.
We do have a few St. Patrick's Day decorations out now and really enjoy all the green...Bill's family is Irish by heritage so I guess that makes me *just a wee bit* Irish too!
I will get photos up soon but wanted to do ahead mention my sweet mail! I have been quite remiss in posting about both of these...I have the most glorious, fantastic and *Grace is holding it hostage in her room but I will get it back I swear* hand mirror from Lisa Oceandreamer & the most wonderful, ever so useful and *will I ever get it back from Grace I do not think so* sewing book from Gretchen. Both were giveaway gifts and are loved and so appreciated. I DO want yo both to know how wonderfull I think you both are. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
And Cassie. You are a sweetheart. I am now the proud owner of the sweetest vintage English tin. It has a precious doggie on the lid and I love it. Cassie also included 2 of her adorable tags. It was such a sweet thing for her to do and I really appreciate it. The photos will follow soon... 
I truly do apologize for not visiting everyone as I should be and LOVE to do. This is Grace's birthday AND my nephew Boo's birthday! It has also been a week of sheer crazy business! Please accept my apologies and know I will be back with you all sometime tomorrow! Grace is 10 today and Boo is 5. I have no idea where the years go. Oh yeah...they go straight onto me! I am 51 and running kids to school, lessons and doctor appointments. I am slow and I limp a bit but I am steady so I do hope to, at least, place a solid 4th in this race! I love helping my brother and sis in law out with Boo while they are at work. I am also letting their new doggie, Casey, out in the afternoon and that is a huge treat! She really is so dog gone sweet! Of course, Kipper sniffs me and gets a bit miffed...He is sniffed miffed. Kip has yet to meet the new family member so I am sure he wonders just why I come home smelling like another dog! Such behavior for his Mama! I will have lots of BD jolliness and photos and other fun to report tomorrow. Thank you for bearing with me. I think you all know how I feel about'cha...
We do have a few St. Patrick's Day decorations out now and really enjoy all the green...Bill's family is Irish by heritage so I guess that makes me *just a wee bit* Irish too!
I will get photos up soon but wanted to do ahead mention my sweet mail! I have been quite remiss in posting about both of these...I have the most glorious, fantastic and *Grace is holding it hostage in her room but I will get it back I swear* hand mirror from Lisa Oceandreamer & the most wonderful, ever so useful and *will I ever get it back from Grace I do not think so* sewing book from Gretchen. Both were giveaway gifts and are loved and so appreciated. I DO want yo both to know how wonderfull I think you both are. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
And Cassie. You are a sweetheart. I am now the proud owner of the sweetest vintage English tin. It has a precious doggie on the lid and I love it. Cassie also included 2 of her adorable tags. It was such a sweet thing for her to do and I really appreciate it. The photos will follow soon... 
I truly do apologize for not visiting everyone as I should be and LOVE to do. This is Grace's birthday AND my nephew Boo's birthday! It has also been a week of sheer crazy business! Please accept my apologies and know I will be back with you all sometime tomorrow! Grace is 10 today and Boo is 5. I have no idea where the years go. Oh yeah...they go straight onto me! I am 51 and running kids to school, lessons and doctor appointments. I am slow and I limp a bit but I am steady so I do hope to, at least, place a solid 4th in this race! I love helping my brother and sis in law out with Boo while they are at work. I am also letting their new doggie, Casey, out in the afternoon and that is a huge treat! She really is so dog gone sweet! Of course, Kipper sniffs me and gets a bit miffed...He is sniffed miffed. Kip has yet to meet the new family member so I am sure he wonders just why I come home smelling like another dog! Such behavior for his Mama! I will have lots of BD jolliness and photos and other fun to report tomorrow. Thank you for bearing with me. I think you all know how I feel about'cha...
Love and Hugs, Susie Q
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