Dear, Dear Mother Nature,
Let me introduce myself. I am Susie Q, or just plain Sue of you like. I have been remiss in not writing to you before this. We all complain about the weather but seldom do we let you know when things are truly perfect. Yes, there are some times when the weather is so glorious it brings tears to my eyes. I should have thanked you long before this for days like that. So, belatedly, I send you my warmest, and most heartfelt, thanks for all those precious days.
Now, the matter at hand. This week's weather. It is warm. Much TOO warm for October. Definitely NOT perfect. You see? I wait all year for this month to roll around again. I spend those dog days of Summer dreaming of the sweet Autumn days of October. Days when the temperature never reaches above 68 degrees. You know the ones. The ones we have yet to see this year. Now, our television meteorologists all delight in outdoing one another with their scientific mumbo jumbo but I think they have missed the true root cause. Let's see...you are an *older woman*. I hope I don't offend you by saying this. I myself am an *older woman*. With this inevitable aging process comes some, well, changes. It is my belief that you, dear Mother Nature, are entering....how should I say this....hm...okay. I will just spell it out for you. You are entering M.E.N.O.P.A.U.S.E. Uh huh. I have seen these symptoms before. I see them in myself on a daily basis. The mood swings, the grumpiness, the hot flashes. It is my contention that you are suffering from hot flashes. Am I right? Please don't be embarrassed. It happens to all of us. I am only pointing this out to you as a friend, a helpmate of sorts. Someone with whom you can share your uncomfortable moments. And, as a friend, I ask you to please try and control your emotions. It is difficult but mankind should not be punished because your inner thermostat has gone all blinky. There are medications that help. There are some wonderful natural remedies that have proven to provide a great deal of relief to those women who sweat...er..I mean, glow.
Now, aren't you glad I wrote? I am sure we understand one another and will be
able to come to some sort of an agreement concerning the weather. If you could see to it that our temperatures begin to fall over the next few weeks, I would be ever so grateful. I suggest a cool bath, a spritz (keep it in the refrigerator for a wonderful pick me up!) of your favorite scent and, perhaps, a fan. A huge, wonkin' fan. That always helps.
Thank you again for listening. I am here if you ever need to vent...on that note, I need to go and sit next to my air conditioning vent. I feel a hot flash coming on.
