Gotcha...Now And Forever!

Some of you know a bit about our story... the entire journey to parenthood  would fill a book so I will just tell you a little bit of the actual day he entered our arms.

We were stationed in Norfolk, Virgina and Bill and I lived in base housing on Little Creek Amphibious Base.



Daniel was due to arrive at the Philadelphia airport at 6pm on April 28th 1990. We decided to make a sweet day of it, leave early, take a leisurely drive, stop at little restaurants and antique shops, then head into Philly and check into our hotel.



What's the quote? The best laid plans of mice and men...oye. We left bright and early with our station wagon filled to the brim with helium balloons. A huge red heart that said "We Love You!", a few other cute ones to make a little boy smile and lots of regular, colorful balloons. It was quite a bouquet! (This will come into play later on!) We crossed the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel, planning to find a spot for breakfast. Ah breakfast. That would have been so nice. Instead we were hit, broadside, at the first stop light we came to. The driver ran the light & hit us with such force that our car began spinning and came to rest, across the street, landing in the front yard of a car parts store. It took us a few second to regain our composure and as we got out the people in the parts store were running to our aid. "Are you both okay? Do you need an ambulance? We already called the sheriff's department!" Just then we all realized that the driver had sped off, not checking to see if we were alright. Ah, but the joke was on her! There, embedded in in the side of our Volvo, was her license plate. Ha! Take that lady! They can run those plates! The deputy arrived and made sure we were okay. He was writing up the report when we see a familiar car come into view. She had come back, hoping we were long gone I am sure, to look for her license plate. "Officer! There she is!" I shouted. He turned and said, "Oh that's Belinda! I know her and her Granny well!" Dear Belinda knew she had been spotted so she drove over to where we all stood. Sweet Granny bailed out and began screaming at us! "Arrest them Stevie! They hit my girl and took off! I want them arrested!" Um yeah. I think she would have beaten us with her cane if old Stevie hadn't been there. The parts store folks began yelling at her and we tried to tell her what really happened...finally Belinda spoke up and said, "NO Granny. It was ME who hit THEM!" Um Belinda? How about an apology? Nope. That never happened. Not from her, not from Granny, not even from the deputy when he told us he refused to cite the sweet girl for a hit and run because she had "suffered enough". Oye. Oh and insurance? Nah. Belinda had none. But she had suffered enough. Okay, so we got our car started, after many tries, took the report Deputy Stevie wrote (That was a joke in itself) and headed on down the road planning to call our insurance company when we got to the hotel. (Thank God for USAA! They were amazing! But that is another story!)



Fast forward to our arrival in Philly. (Yeah, our little mishap delayed us so much that the antique shops and cute little cafes were never visited. Thanks Belinda!) Philadelphia was having a record breaking heat wave. When I say it was hot, believe me. It. Was. Hot. 104 degrees. We arrived at our hotel only to discover that their air conditioning system had broken down. Yup. The rooms were about 90 + degrees. Oh, and their hot water system was broken as well so no showers or baths. I had had enough...I refused to bring my newly arrived son to a hot room with two sweaty, stinky, shower less parents. Bill went out to a pay phone and began calling hotels in town. Turns out it was a big week for conventions. One hotel after another..."Sorry!""Sorry sir!" "Oh, so sorry!". Finally, after calling 12 others places, Bill found a room at the airport Hilton. They had ONE room and he grabbed it. As we sped off I asked Bill what kind of room and how much it cost. "I don't care of it's the Presidential Suite Susie! It's a room!" We were about a mile down the road when "POW!" "POW!" "POW!" One by one the helium balloons began to explode. The poor things had simply overheated in the car while waiting on us to find a hotel room. One, two, three, nine, ten, twelve...uh huh. One by one each balloon bit the proverbial dust. We saved just one. The giant, "We Love You!" heart. Oye.



Arrived at the Hilton and thankfully it was NOT the Presidential Suite! It was a *slightly* less expensive room but very nice. AND it had air conditioning and hot water! We took a nice long shower and laid down to take a nap...yeah, who could actually sleep? Okay, not me but Bill can sleep anywhere at any time so he snoozed away while I stressed. Stressed? It was stressful enough that we were about to become the parents of a 7 year old boy who spoke no English but I was also concerned about the storms on the horizon. They were predicting some vicious thunderstorms that evening. Yep, just about the time Daniel's plane was due to land. Oh and here is where I need to tell you that some of the stress was also due to the fact that my dad was having surgery, in Tennessee, that day. Would he be alright? Was his problem cancer? We were able to talk to Mom just before we went to the airport and Daddy was fine. No cancer and the problem had been corrected. Thank God! Now I was down to only one stress inducer and it was a biggie!



Arrived at the terminal and met our adoption agency representatives. We also met the family of another child arriving on the same plane. Handshakes, hugs and paperwork. Lots and lots of paperwork. And thunder. And lightening. And wind. The storm had arrived bringing torrential rain and tornado warnings with it. Oh goodie. The plane that was due to arrive at 6 had been delayed. To 7. Then to 8. Then to 9. Finally, at 10:45 it landed. We watched them taxi up until the plane's window was only a few feet away from our concourse window. Bill and I, and the other set of parents, had our noses pressed against the glass. Someone must have let the pilots know who we were and they held up a quickly scrawled sign that read, "All fine! Your kids are great!" At that point everything became hazy...people everywhere, noise, happy commotion and then he was there. That precious little boy was standing right in front of us. Just before the agency reps snapped this picture, Kim Yung Joon had bowed to us and said the words he had practiced all the way across the Pacific Ocean and then across the Continental US, "Hello Mama! Hello Papa! I happy to see you!" I knelt down, Bill leaned down and I took his hand. He had one hand in mine and then placed his other in Bill's hand. He smiled, we smiled through our tears and then, just like that, we were a family.

Gotcha! Now and forever...



The car accident, the heat, the storms, the exploding balloons all faded away as this gift from God walked with us, out of the airport and into our lives. It is a moment we will never forget.

Happy "Gotcha Day Daniel". We love you!

.

Gotcha!

"They reach out empty arms. Children from another land move into them,

and people who waited months or even years for these moments think,

"Gotcha!" That memory inspires many of these parents to informally celebrate

"Gotcha Day" — the anniversary of their child's arrival, celebrated

much like a second birthday."

~Sandra Pesmen, "'Gotcha' for good,"

Chicago Sun-Times, August 29, 2005

This photo was taken of our Grace less than an hour after she was placed in our care...

I wrote this in 2008~

September 2004...Bill and I were in China and it was there, in Chongqing, that we became the parents of a little girl...a shy, frightened, sad little girl. A stoic child, constantly on the verge of tears, who spoke no English and had never seen a television, an escalator, a McDonald's or a Caucasian. She had arrived in Chongqing, from her rural orphanage, after a 5 hour bus ride. She was exhausted, hungry and scared to death.

We signed the papers in a hot, stuffy, crowded office, the papers that would legally make her our child. While we took care of these very important matters, this small soul sat in a, much too large for her small frame, chair, her body shaking almost uncontrollably. She would not allow us to hug her, hold her hand or touch her in anyway, accepting no comfort, no affection. Yes, we had chosen this 6 year old angel to be a part of our lives but she had not agreed to this arrangement. It was out of her hands. Her life was taking a dramatic turn and she had no say about it at all.

September 2008...she races back up to her room, the shrine to all things pink and fluffy and Hannah Montana, to grab her jacket. The pink one of course. She stops to hug our cat Henry, then runs back down the steps, breathless with anticipation. "Mom? What time is Kelly coming?" I assure her that Kelly will be here by 6 PM for the long awaited sleep over. Ah, a teacher's in service day is always a cause for delight! No school tomorrow means a long night of giggling and movies and Jonas Brother songs.

As we sat on the stairs this morning, I rubbed her back and listened to the non stop chatter about gym class, which boy was the silliest, Halloween costumes and

ice cream. "There's my bus Mom!" and she flew out the door and bounded down the porch

steps. She stopped, turned and grinned. "I forgot!", she shouted and ran back up to give me a big squeeze. "See ya latah baked potatah!" and she was off again. "I love you...see you after school..."

Her transformation from frightened little girl into a fun loving pre-teen has

been a joy to watch, to experience. But it is she who transformed us.

We are now a family of four. We are complete.

This photo was taken this past Spring, in Destin, Florida

~~~~~~~~~~

My heart never truly rested until the day she came into our lives.

With her arrival we became whole.

6 years ago today was our "Gotcha Day". The day we could finally say

 she was ours and we were hers.

Gotcha! Now & Forever...

Oooh, A Repost! A Repost!

I wanted to post something about my sweet son's *Gotcha Day*. Yes, 20 years ago this week our handsome and beloved son arrived from Korea. Dan is not always keen on having his picture or too many details about him posted for all to see...a little shy and retiring like his Dad...so he always suggests I let you all see a little something I wrote awhile back. It was re-printed in the St. Louis Dispatch 2 years ago in celebration of adoption awareness month. Each one of these questions really and truly came out of the mouths of real and true human beings.

I have then added the answers I SHOULD have given to these lovely, thoughtful folks.

We now present, "Adoption Antics" in celebration of adoptive families everywhere!

1.Did he ever eat a dog? (I don't know but he did take a bite out of our cat. Said she tasted stringy.) 2.Koreans are very intelligent. I bet he is one of those. (Ooh. I hope so! I would hate to have gotten one of those dumb ones!)
 3.Did they run out of babies? (Yeah, dang it. They gave us a used kid instead but the warranty really is great.)
 4.How much did he cost? (Oh! There was a sale at K Mart! Only $19.95!)
 5.If he doesn't make you happy, can you ask for another child? (Oh sure! We bought replacement insurance!)
 6.If he gets sick or anything, will the adoption agency pay all the costs? (Sure! They also put braces on his teeth, send him through Harvard Medical School and buy his first house.)
 7.What's it like being with a Korean? (Well, he whips up a great kimchi dish and gosh but those Koreans can sure be funny! Keeps us in stitches all the time!)
 8.It is a good thing he is so cute or it would have been hard to love him. (Yeah, I hate those ugly ones too. They give me the creeps. *shudder*)

 And then we braved the onslaught of silly questions and adopted again....here came the questions about Grace!

 1.Did they charge you the same amount of money because she has scars? (Oh no. They were having a scratch and dent sale!)
 2.Those Chinese are so smart. They can also be tricky and sneaky you know! (Uh...well...she did beat me at poker. Took me for $5.27 the other night. )
 3.Do you know if she is a Communist? (Well, we DID find her Communist Party membership card in her wallet but she swears, she will only practice Communism on every other Friday.)
 4.Can you return her? (Oh yes. The return department is open 24/7. We can ask for our money back or an agency credit)
 5.Why did you get another one? (We were just so bored and thought this was what we need to add that special spark to our marriage!)
 6.Did they give you a bigger girl because you are old? (Ehhhhh??? Speak up a little louder sonny. )
7.When you got to China, could you have chosen a different kid if yours wasn't pretty? (I had planned to do just that. Seeing our daughter crowned Miss Ohio is exactly why we did all this!)
8.Since she was so shy, you should have asked for another. (We did but that stubborn facilitator forced us take THIS one. Phooey. )
 9.I could never raise someone else's kid. I guess it is nice that somebody does it. (Yeah, we are just so nice....angels...no, wait, saints actually.)
 10.Does she know how to eat real food? (Nope, she is still eating that plastic Fisher Price stuff and it is costing us a fortune!)


Happy Gotcha Day Daniel. Being your mom and dad has been nothing short of amazing! We love you!

Gotcha!

It was such a busy weekend and I have lots to share but today's post is a hugs GOTCHA!

Oops! I hope I didn't scare anyone!

Nah...this isn't THAT sort of gotcha. No joke on you dear friends, nor on anyone!

This is the day we celebrate our daughter's "Gotcha Day"!

5 years ago today Grace came into our lives to stay.

The 1st photo is the one that accompanied our referral from China. We were already in love with her, without ever seeing her face, but the second I saw this, I burst into tears. I KNEW her face. I KNEW this child. She was my daughter, the one I had waited for for so long. And yes. I had felt the very same way about our Daniel. It is not easily explained but they were each OURS before they were placed in our care.

This photo was the first one we took in China. Her caretakers had just arrived with her, at our hotel in China. She was already in tears. She was exhausted and frightened to death. Can you imagine what a scary moment this was for her? She spoke no English, in fact, she had never seen a Caucasian person!

We tried everything to elicit even a tiny smile. Presents, silly behavior, candy, fruit, you name it. It would be days before we saw the first glimmer of a grin.

Flash forward 5 years and look at her now. That sought after smile almost

never leaves her face. She is feisty and exuberant and in love with life.

Grace with her adored (and adoring) big brother Daniel. With Daddy on the beach at the Gulf Shores. Two *best friends forever* at The Jonas Brothers concert

Grace the cheerleader at this past week's game.

Last weekend's big cheer event...with her beautiful coach.

Her transformation from frightened little girl into a fun loving pre-teen has

been a joy to watch, to experience.

But it is she who transformed us. We are now a family of four. We are complete.

My heart never truly rested until the day she came into our lives. With her arrival

we became whole.

Love and Hugs,

Susie Q

Gotcha!

"They reach out empty arms. Children from another land move into them, and people who waited months or even years for these moments think, "Gotcha!" That memory inspires many of these parents to informally celebrate "Gotcha Day" — the anniversary of their child's arrival, celebrated much like a second birthday."

—Sandra Pesmen, "'Gotcha' for good," Chicago Sun-Times, August 29, 2005

September 2004...Bill and I were in China and it was there, in Chongqing, that we became the parents of a little girl...a shy, frightened,

sad little girl. A stoic child, constantly on the verge of tears, who spoke no English and had never seen a television, an escalator, a McDonald's or a Caucasian. She had arrived in Chongqing, from her rural orphanage, after a 5 hour bus ride. She was exhausted, hungry and scared to death.

We signed the papers in a hot, stuffy, crowded office, the papers that would legally make her our child. While we took care of these very important matters, this small soul sat in a, much too large for her small frame, chair, her body shaking almost uncontrollably. She would not allow us to hug her, hold her hand or touch her in anyway, accepting no comfort, no

affection. Yes, we had chosen this 6 year old angel to be a part of our lives but she had not agreed to this arrangement. It was out of her hands. Her life was taking a dramatic turn and she had no say about it at all.

September 2008...she races back up to her room, the shrine to all things pink and fluffy and Hannah Montana, to grab her jacket. The pink one of course. She stops to hug our cat Henry, then runs back down the steps, breathless with anticipation. "Mom? What time is Kelly coming?" I assure her that Kelly will be here by 6 PM for the long awaited sleep over. Ah, a teacher's in service day is always a cause for delight! No school tomorrow means a long night of giggling and movies and Jonas Brother songs.

As we sat on the stairs this morning, I rubbed her back and listened to the non stop chatter about gym class, which boy was the silliest, Halloween costumes and

ice cream. "There's my bus Mom!" and she flew out the door and bounded down the porch

steps. She stopped, turned and grinned. "I forgot!", she shouted and ran back up to give me a big squeeze. "See ya latah baked potatah!" and she was off again. "I love you...see you after school..."

4 years ago was our "Gotcha Day". The day we could finally say she was ours and we were hers. "Gotcha. Now and forever."

Adoption Antics

I wanted to post something about my sweet son's *Gotcha Day*. Yes, 18 years ago today our handsome and beloved son arrived from Korea. Dan is not always keen on having his picture or too many details about him posted for all to see...a little shy and retiring like his Dad...so he suggested I let you all see a little something I wrote awhile back. It was re-printed in the St. Louis Dispatch 2 years ago in celebration of adoption awareness month. Each one of these questions really and truly came out of the mouths of real and true human beings. I have then added the answers I SHOULD have given to these lovely, thoughtful folks. Oh! I am also enjoying seeing the questions you are sending me via yesterday's post! THANK YOU! I love it and will answer them all the first of next week! You are all the very best. We now present, "Adoption Antics" in celebration of adoptive families everywhere! 1.Did he ever eat a dog? (I don't know but he did take a bite out of our cat. Said she tasted stringy.) 2.Koreans are very intelligent. I bet he is one of those. (Ooh. I hope so! I would hate to have gotten one of those dumb ones!) 3.Did they run out of babies? (Yeah, dang it. They gave us a used kid instead but the warranty really is great.) 4.How much did he cost? (Oh! There was a sale at K Mart! Only $19.95!) 5.If he doesn't make you happy, can you ask for another child? (Oh sure! We bought replacement insurance!) 6.If he gets sick or anything, will the adoption agency pay all the costs? (Sure! They also put braces on his teeth, send him through Harvard Medical School and buy his first house.) 7.What's it like being with a Korean? (Well, he whips up a great kimchi dish and gosh but those Koreans can sure be funny! Keeps us in stitches all the time!) 8.It is a good thing he is so cute or it would have been hard to love him. (Yeah, I hate those ugly ones too. They give me the creeps. *shudder*) And then we braved the onslaught of silly questions and adopted again........... 1.Did they charge you the same amount of money because she has scars? (Oh no. They were having a scratch and dent sale!) 2.Those Chinese are so smart. They can also be tricky and sneaky you know! (Uh...well...she did beat me at poker. Took me for $5.27 the other night. ) 3.Do you know if she is a Communist? (Well, we DID find her Communist Party membership card in her wallet but she swears, she will only practice Communism on every other Friday.) 4.Can you return her? (Oh yes. The return department is open 24/7. We can ask for our money back or an agency credit) 5.Why did you get another one? (We were just so bored and thought this was what we need to add that special spark to our marriage!) 6.Did they give you a bigger girl because you are old? (Ehhhhh??? Speak up a little louder sonny. ) 7.When you got to China, could you have chosen a different kid if yours wasn't pretty? (I had planned to do just that. Seeing our daughter crowned Miss Ohio is exactly why we did all this!) 8.Since she was so shy, you should have asked for another. (We did but that stubborn facilitator forced us take THIS one. Phooey. ) 9.I could never raise someone else's kid. I guess it is nice that somebody does it. (Yeah, we are just so nice....angels...no, wait, saints actually.) 10.Does she know how to eat real food? (Nope, she is still eating that plastic Fisher Price stuff and it is costing us a fortune!)

Happy Gotcha Day Daniel. We love you!

My Child

A woman labored to bring you into the world...I was not there.

A woman offered you your first nourishment...I was not there.

A woman held your tiny body and rocked you to sleep...I was not there.

Not there in body but oh, I was there with you.

We were joined together on the day you came into this world, joined by that sweet, invisible red thread. Held tightly together by circumstance, by love, by pure magic.

It would be years before I saw your face, years in which we both endured heartache. You longing for a forever family, me, longing for YOU. I knew you long before I held your hand for the first time.

Yes, there was another who brought you into this world but I am your Mother in every sense of the word. I love you unconditionally. I will love you forever. You are my child.

My child...

My Guy

My Guy....Guys!

It was a long road to become a family of 3 but I won't take up too much of your time relating it all here. Just know that

our son was VERY wanted, very loved and that his Dad and I were so excited we could barely contain ourselves.

The morning Daniel arrived, we left our home in Virginia Beach early and drove to the City of Brotherly Love. We got settled in our hotel room, ate dinner and then decided we just wanted to get to the airport and walk....and walk....and walk. Miles I would guess. Around and around, back and forth. Storms would fire up and ease, blow in again and stop.

Our son arrived at 10:30 pm, on April 26th, 1990. He was escorted from Seoul, Korea to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He landed in a blinding rain storm on one of the hottest April days Philadelphia had ever seen!

But oh that smile...it just radiated. As he reached us, he grinned and bowed. Uh huh. Bowed. We melted and that was that. He was our son and we were his parents. Nothing would ever break that bond.

This picture was taken on the flight line, Naval Air Station Norfolk. Bill had been flying carrier qualifications all day. Danny had been with us just one week. Just 2 weeks after this picture was taken Daddy left for an 8 week carrier training mission. Danny and I went to visit his Grandparents in Tennessee. What fun he had! He and my parents quickly bonded and he loved swimming and playing and learning how to tie his Mommy around his finger really fast! Then things hit the skids....instead of coming home for months, Bill's ship (and the squadrons on board) were quickly deployed to the Persian Gulf in support of first, Desert Shield and then Desert Storm. It would be almost 9 months until we saw him again. As difficult as it was for Danny and for me, it was horrible for Bill. He would miss Daniel's first day of school, first Halloween, first Thanksgiving, first Christmas...you name it. But you know? I have always been sure that it was because of Daniel that I stayed as calm as I did...held things together. I always thought that if Bill had to be away for more than 6 months (and that was always bad enough), especially due to conflict, I would fall apart. Nope, I had a son to care for, help, make things right for. What a delight he was....he fully embraced his new found childhood and new home. He made friends easily, did well in school, adored his family. My brother came to stay with us and oh how they bonded. He and Dan are very different personalities but Dan says that he will always love and adore his Uncle because of what they went through together, and meant to one another, all those years ago. He had to endure many times away from Dad, moving to several different states, changing schools quite often....he always handled each trial with a smile and a joke. Bill's Naval Retirement, 2005. Dan received a special award for his " Service To Country" as the son of a Military Veteran.

We have hundreds of wonderful pictures in albums of Danny but few in my computer. The scanner decided to be belligerent for me today so I have included just a few here. Dan is not fond of having photos taken but he will pose on holidays or for his sister. This was from Christmas 2006, with his gift from Grace. Thanksgiving 2006

at Grandma's....

New Year's Eve 2006/07 at our favorite Asian restaurant.

This young man has been such a joy. Not perfect, sometimes a royal pain as all kids are, but he is, and will always be our joy. He is a fantastic big brother to Grace and she thinks he is top drawer!

He is finishing up college, studying Psychology, and works as a software engineer at a local company. We are so proud of him.

My Children

I was asked to write a little about our adoption experiences. I always love to do just that but would like to wait until I have a bit more time to do it adequately. Until then, I

would love to share some photos.

The first picture we were given of our Grace. We flew to China 3 months later!

In China, during the first hour she was with us. Still just not sure if she can trust these new folks....

During her first few weeks with us...that infectious smile was beginning to grow.

Grace's first American Summer...with one of her favorite people, our neighbor's lovely daughter.

This past Summer...there is that smile!

Dan with Dad...Winter 2004...goatee in place and just one of the many "hairstyles" he has! We never know from week to week how it will be styled!

Thanksgiving at my brother's home, 2005. My treasures...

Christmas 2004, I like that smile!

On a trip to NYC, 2000. A Playboy wannabe? A mother's worst nightmare!

With Daddy on the flight line, NAS Norfolk, 1991

Our son arrives from Korea! The Philadelphia airport, April 1990. He had traveled from Seoul to San Francisco, changed planes and flew to Philadelphia. Tired but totally unafraid...he never stopped smiling. Neither did we!

More to come....