Brilliant Days...Deep Thoughts

* Update on my giveaway. I have the books ready to mail.  *grin* I will be away this weekend so all three books will be mailed on Monday. I apologize for being late. Bring sick is one thing, having a really sick kid is another! I know you all understand that! I am slow but I do get things done eventually! I promise!

I wanted to share some of our glorious Autumn color with you...I am glad I was able to get out and do a ltttle photographing before the last of this brilliant color was gone. I was so ill with whatever virus is upon us and then Grace came down sick too. We are both on the road to recovery, she more quickly than me for which I am very grateful!

Our seasonal color was just amazingly stunning this year. I would just ooh and ahh as I ran my daily errands around town. What a lovely area I am blessed to live in and what a beautiful world we ALL share!

I wanted to thank those of you who left such sweet comments on my previous post and those who have also sent uplifting emails. As some of you guessed, I have been in a bit of a bloggy funk. These 3 years have brought me so much joy but lately, I have been re-thinking my place in the blog world. I came very close to deleting Rabbit Run Cottage, the blog, on Monday. This will be news to some of you who I speak with often as I kept it to myself. *smile* I have decided to keep at it, albeit differently. I am, and will always be, so grateful that so many of you have been loyal friends and visit me even when I am a neglectful poster and visitor/commentor on your own blogs. You have been so understanding that I just don't have the time I once did and have had to face the fact that blogging must take a back seat all too often to real life!

PLEASE know I am not asking for comments telling me why you read my blog or that you still love me (Heck, IF you come here to visit, there must be somethin' you like right?) as I know who does and I love ya back. *grin* I never set out to blog for *numbers*, for glory, for money. The good and special friends I have made through blogging made every moment I have spent writing and working at improving photos, well, well worth it. But I write for me, for those who I KNOW I reach and who share many of my passions.

I write for the 22 people who have, over the last year, sent me emails that shared how a post I wrote made them laugh while they were under going chemotherapy, or made them feel good for the first time since they suffered a great loss. Some let me know that they shared my silly sense of humor and love of life,the joy that IS Brian Dennehy, the imperfect home and busy family. They *got* me. They said I *got* them. These 22 emails, these 22 people made it ALL worth while.

I have never taken blogging lightly. I spend far too long on most posts and stress when I can't or if I don't feel one is done well. I spend way too much time making sure each photo looks good and is something that you might like to see. I know I do not always get it *right* but oh how hard I try.

Still, the funk came over me. It has been there for months now but darkened last week. Let me explain. Among the 22 emails that were so positive and spirit lifting were 5 that were sour indeed. How did I expect to have blog visitors when *I* was negligent in commenting and making rounds myself? That was just one of the 5 but all had the same bent. Well, to sum it up as succinctly as I can, I DON'T!  If the only reason you come here to visit is because I visit you, well, I release you from your duty! I have no desire to make anyone adhere to such a silly rule. 'Nuff said. I have been *told* I am too long winded in my posts. Well, I am a talker. Born and bred. If you don't like to read, I give you my blessing to pass me by. I was told I needed to do more posts about home decor. I will address this in a second...

I was left feeling angry, more than a little flummoxed and ready to shuck it all.

But then I realized that I do not blog for those 5, I blog for the 22 who found *something* of value here.

I once had a much wider base. There was a time that a giveaway post would net over 100 comments. Did I like that? Hey, I am human right? Now, if I get 25 on such a post I am lucky. But, as I mentioned earlier, I never set out to write for *numbers*. I write for those 22 and for the loyal and dear friends that I have met along this blogging path. I try to visit you all as best I can and yes, I fall short often. For that I apologize but it is my reality.

I also do not post as much decorating as I once did. I know those posts get a lot more traffic. But the time I have to DO them has decreased dramatically. So the traffic will just move on down a different road I am afraid. *smile* But I WILL do posts about our home, our very much less than perfect abode.

I have projects that are still waiting to be finished and many that have yet to be started. Yes, we have lived here for almost 8 years and yet *SHOCK*, *HORRORS*, I am still living with what I see "lovingly" referred to in many blogs as "boring, stock" cabinets, "ugly, builder light fixtures", non exceptional counters, floors and furniture. 3 long years ago I thought I had a pretty sweet house but reading blogs almost had me believing I was living in cluttered squalor! Egads! All right, so I am indulging in a bit of hyperbole here but you get my point. So I posted less and less about home and hearth. I LET it get to me. But after receiving an extraordinary email from a reader, I now know that MOST of us live in less than perfect homes. I have written about this before but it kept rearing it's nasty head and I had to face it once again.

After adopting Grace, our pot of available monies for home projects dried up. But I also began re-thinking my desire to always want to change something. I had to but I needed to.

I came to realize that I was happier driving around snapping photos than I was cleaning and painting.

I was happier hitting garage and estate sales with my buddy Sue than I was going from store to store looking for the perfect home accessory. I am happier planning the next trip or get away than I am planning a home project. Do I LOVE home projects? You bet your noodle. And I have a few on the back burner that will see the light of day when we save up for it. I have tossed all the home to do lists and replaced them with

 to do lists that include weekend getaways, parks to visit, trails to walk, cities to explore. If you don't find that interesting, I give you permission to take me off your blog rolls. If you don't see the humor in a middle aged lady having a crush on an aging actor, pass me by. If you expect to see me do a weekly mind altering tablescape, I am not the blog for you. I am not wealthy or creative enough for that I am afraid! You have to be one or the other and I am neither! I will always look for those who make their homes warm and cozy via creativity rather than bucks everytime. It is just more ineteresting to me! If you don't like that about me, say bye bye for your own sanity! *laugh*

I will alienate some I know who will think I am being hard edged or that I am being unfriendly. I know that those who actually KNOW me will know I am neither of those things. But I must be truthful to myself.

I wll continue to write posts that are often long. I will continue to be silly and write about Brian Dennehy from time to time. I will try to be funny, often missing the mark. I will write more about family and movies and books and trips and my area far more than my skills as a decorator which are vastly limited. I WILL show you my house but in its all too glorious imperfectness.

I will share my inadequacies as a home maker, decorator, mother, wife and human being.

I will write for me and hope you find something that makes you smile or think. I hope most of you will remain my friends. Those who do not, I wish you well and wish you a sweet life. I may ever stop into your blogs from time to time. I may even leave you one of those coveted comments!

For those who, like me, have little time to post and visit my blog or others, I will be understanding and never chide you for it! Hey, you will do what you can when you can!

I will just love ya, admire ya and send ya lots of hugs. We are in this together. Together as imperfectly as possible. And, as I have said before, being IMperfect is PERfect in my eyes.

Love and Hugs,

Susie Q