Happy St. Patrick's Day from your friend Kip!
Hi all you Irish dudes! My Mom says that everyone is Irish today, even if you are not, which I am. My name is actually Kipper T. McGhee, the T stands for *trouble* and that is what you get with me dudes. Trouble. My Mom says I am a little Irish hooligan from the streets of Belfast. (That must be in Tennessee dudes 'cause that is where I was born) My Dad says I am as cute as a leprechaun but you know? I have never actually SEEN a leprechaun.
One comes to our house in the wee hours before dawn on St. Patrick's Day and causes lots of messes. He leaves paper all over the floors and throws socks in the hallway. He also leaves a buncha gold coins that smell a lot like chocolate. (Which, by the way, I am not allowed to eat. Phooey).
I have tried to stay up and catch this leprechaun in action dudes but a guy's gotta sleep sometime right? I think it is my cats that make the messes and blame it on those poor leprechauns but where would my cats get gold coins that smell like chocolate? They don't have any money dudes! So I have decided to go out looking for a leprechaun. Ssh. Don't tell my folks 'cause they would worry 'n I will be home by sun up anyway 'kay dudes?
Let's go! I've got my leprechaun trackin' device (Otherwise known as my nose) and that's all we need right?
I have seen all sorts of pictures like this 'round town this time of year. But does a REAL leprechaun look this happy all the time?I have also seen this picture of a leprechaun and he looks mighty angry. I think he works at a school somewhere. Do leprechauns look mad dudes? I DO know they live in Ireland most of the time. It is a place far from my house and my parents want to go real bad. They say it is green and pretty and the people there are cool an all and I think that sounds good but let's get back to findin' one of those trouble makin' leprechauns 'kay?
I was gonna ask these dudes if they know where a leprechaun is but gee whiz. These guys are....ssshhh....*wearin' skirts*. That is why the poor dog is hiding his face dudes! Skirts! On guys! Dudes!
I started to ask this horse if HE knew about leprechauns but he looked a little green 'round the old gills if you know what I mean. HA! That was a good one dudes! But hey. Dad says it is really green in Ireland so even the horses must turn green. Whoa.
I thought these dudes might be leprechauns so I sniffed 'em. Nope. Not leprechauns but they smelled good anyway. Kinda like corned beef.
Wow! This dude has his own leprechaun!! Oh. Wait a mo...that is NOT a real leprechaun. I KNOW leprechauns and he is NO leprechaun. Okay, so I DON'T actually KNOW leprechauns but I was just sayin'...
This is Chauncey. He is a cool Irish dog like me and he says I can ride in his car to look for wee people. Keep a close eye out Chauncey dude!
Look out! Cats! Whoo Hoo...hey cats. Do you know a leprechaun? Phooey on you...I didn't want to kiss ya anyhoo.
I hear the river in Chicago magically turns green on march 17th every year. Must be the work of tricky leprechauns. Let's look there dudes...
would not like THAT joke. Just teasin' Ma!
I thought this dude was a leprechaun but on closer sniff I discovered he was a dog. Sneaky huh?
These guys were all in green but they didn't know any leprechauns. They said to call 'em if I needed any help tho' and not to play with matches.
I thought my search was over dudes! I mean, his shirt even SAYS he is a leprechaun and all. But a quick sniff let me know he was a human baby. And he needed a change too! Another sneaky dude.
Wait!! Look at this! We must be getting close right?
Wait.Um..you are SO not a leprechaun dude! But I do like your tie...huh? What?
Our buddy Winston here says he has seen a few animals...ssshh...*drinking beer*. I do NOT believe it! I do NOT believe it! Just because it is St. Patrick's Day does not mean...
Oh NO!!! Squirrels drinking an Irish ale! What to do, what to do....yikes!!!
CATS drinking an Irish ale!!! Well, thank goodness no dog would ever be caught drin...um...huh? Oh dude...drinking!! And drinking a nice Irish ale! What would your German ancestors say dude? I guess we ALL are Irish today...even little dachshunds.
But I want you to know dudes that I do NOT drink Irish ale. Or beer. Or fruit punch. My only vice is the ever so occasional (And only because my folks won't take me more!) cuppa 'scream! Well, I got a little side tracked there...let's get this search back on course!
Are YOU a leprechaun? You are wearin' green and you are wee...oh. Leprechauns don't have feathers? Sorry dude!
Éirinn go Brách anyway cat dude!CATCH him dudes!!!
Are YOU a leprech...no. You are not wee...you are a cow. A green cow. Hey! Do you give green milk? That would be totally awesome cow dude!
Well, I am just about ready to give up dudes. I am tired and I need to sleep. I will go to bed and dream of this all green land where cows and horse are green too. The cats dress in hats and the squirrels drink beer and the dudes wear skirts. Sometimes.
WAIT! There! In that little house!! A LEPRECHAUN DUDES!!!!!
(In case you don't recognize me in the hat, it's me. Kipper.)
I hope you are wearin' some green today because
if you do not wear green you can get a pinch! So wear it! Dudes! That is my St. Paddy's Day advice for you!
Excuse me for now 'cause I smell some corned beef cookin'
somewhere and I just have to find it!
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Your Irish Dog Pal,
Kip T. McGhee